world record attempt

Twenty minutes ago I was disturbed by a phone call.
“Hello, order dinner?
“Err, can I order a bit later?”
“Order dinner NOW!”
“Can I not order later?”
“Hello DINNER…?” drrrrrrrr (sound of phone being hung up)

So now I’ve decided what I want, I’ll phone it through. It can’t be that difficult can it?

“Hello can I order dinner please, for room 308?”
“What?”
“Errr, order dinner?”
“What you want?”
“Chicken curry, plain rice…”
“Chicken curry, how many?”
“Just the one please and plain rice…”
“Pork curry….”
“No, plain rice. One chicken curry, one plain rice, one roti and Sprite please”
“Basmati rice?”
“No, plain rice but just a bottle of sprite”
“Just basmati rice?”
“No, chicken curry, plain rice and a sprite”
“Hmmmm, ok”…. drrrrrrrrr (sound of phone being hung up on me again)


“No race, No rally – Enjoy the valley”
Great road signs number something in a series of a few

No cars, no aching bum, no shocking roadside dhaba’s. I stayed in bed till almost 7am today, ordered a leisurely breakfast and washed a t-shirt in the shower. I left the washed shirt outside, figuring it’d be dry in an hour or so, it’s that hot! Well, it probably did dry but an hour later I went out to check and it had fallen from my balcony and was nowhere to be seen. Either that or the eagles have had it. More to the point, it looks like I’ve had it with seeing that shirt again.

Off to “Chapchar Kut” and, after a walk around the showground for me, we find ourselves some chairs in a prime grandstand position. Gosh, it was busy. The bamaboo poles were all being laid out in readiness for the “world record attempt” at bamboo pole dancing. I was a bit dismissive of the whole record business but these people are deadly serious! I really should try and reign in my natural insincts sometimes. I tend to forget that these people are using this as a community bonding and strengthening device. And it seems to work. Young old alike were enjoying the party atmosphere. You really can’t knock it if it works!

Oh no, I’d been spotted again. I rather hoped I was just a face in the crowd and therefore relatively invisible. Not a chance. Some character from NE TV had seen me and was hot tailing it in my direction. “How would I like to go to the main stage and be interviewed?” Well, I wouldn’t like it at all and I told him so. “Oh, please come, we have Chinese, Japanese and now we have you from UK” Oh sod it, it’s a once in a lifetime thing and no-one in the UK will see it. I’ll do it! I was interviewed by the most gorgeous Mizo girl ever and that’s saying something as they all look pretty incredible to an aging old fart like me! I’m glad I’ve just remembered to tell you this as it reminded me to turn the tv on. Good grief, it seems like they broke the world record and it’s headline news! Looks like they managed 671 sets of bamboo dancing. They danced all up the main street at well as in the showground. Blimey, they deserve a medal for just stopping that awful traffic in the city and letting the people take precedence.

After three rehearsals we were treated to tiffin. That’s not just me using that word at an attempt at post colonial humour, they actually had it on the programme of events; 1pm – Tiffin. The arena was then cleared of non-participants and the attempt proper began. It made me laugh as they had a most impressive countdown to the start of the dance with everyone taking part. The tune began like something of as an anti-climax as it’s a most plinky plonky tune. No matter, the dancers were very good and must have practised lots to be as good as they are. Dance over, the relief was palpable and there were even a couple of girls who had fallen faint. I have to think this is due to the heat, it was burning hot in that showground.

Midway through the day, after the record attempt, they then had local rock musicians on stage. Blimey, the young people loved them! The music was all a bit happy clappy and despite me not knowing any Mizo, I can only guess it was right on church messages they were singing about. There was even a bloke walking about with a “Jesus Loves You” placard. Well, I won’t stick about for religious tunes at anytime, so it was time to go and get a brew and shave.

I don’t believe it, dinner has just arrived. Chicken curry? Yup! well, they got that right. Bottle of sprite? Yay right again! Nowt else. The chap looked crestfallen when I told him I’d got an incomplete order. Meatloaf might have sang about two out of three ‘aint bad but what about two out of four Mr. Loaf? Eh?? Eh???