The Raj

“Hello sir, your tea.”
“Oh that’s great thank you, I’m ready for a brew, how much do I owe you?”
“Nothing sir, it’s complimentary.”
“Wonderful! I like this hotel already!”

Twenty Minutes later

“Hello sir, sweets”
“Sweets, for me? But I haven’t ordered anything”
“No sir, this is complimentary”

Now this is my kind of hotel! I’m in Shillong and I was due to be staying at the Pinewood Hotel. Unfortunately I’ve been kicked out before checking in. The entire hotel has been booked by one large group and naturally enough, not wanting to lose their custom, I’m out. Which is why I’ve been moved to Pegasus Court hotel and upgraded to a super-deluxe room.

If you ever decide to go to India, be brave, plan and book things independently. You’ll save yourself a fortune! You need to know just one thing about Indian hotels. If, in the UK, you book yourself into a 3* hotel, you will get a 3* room, as will everyone else in the hotel. But in India you may be in a 3* hotel but within that hotel there are differently graded rooms. So you very well may be in a 3* hotel but just with a standard room. You may want to push the boat out and go for a deluxe room but be warned, as is usual in India, it comes at a price. Daft old me, I just requested my hotels on a 3* basis, luckily Jyoti has a bit about him and got me the best I could afford in all places. Phew. I can’t imagine what a standard room would have been like in Tawang!

DRIVE ON HORSE POWER, NOT RUM POWER!
Great road signs #3 in a series of, oh I don’t know.

The temperature plummeted to below 20C last night and I was forced to put a top sheet on. For the first time in weeks, I slept well, safely ensconced in the best mosquito net ever. I really am turning into rob of the raj! The shower, after a bit of cajoling, worked fine. Well, the cold water did anyway, so at least I was chilled and ready for the long drive ahead to Shillong.

What can I tell you about the drive? Not a lot really. Apart from me firing up the laptop to back up my picture files onto my flash drive, only to find that the flash drive had succumbed to a virus! It must have come from the cybershop I tried to use yesterday. Bugger! Good old AVG was quick off the mark and we’re all well and fine again now.

10.30am and it must be lunch/brunch time, so we stop at a roadside dhaba. Very swish it is too, with an outside bamboo, privatised seating area. Now, what shall I have? I could go for the lentils again but sod it, I want meat! After being told the duck curry would take 30minutes, I plumped for pigeon. That’s the way to deal with the buggers, scoff ‘em! Don’t give ‘em bits of bread like them silly sods in Trafalgar square. Jyoti and I have a very in depth conversation about his business. He used to work with a chap called Danny Gam, whom I’ve read about. Danny managed to get a job with the government and Jyoti has been left with the business. He basically manages all bookings for Majuli Island, so when my inquiry reached him, it was like the jackpot but also a learning curve. I have to say, his candour is refreshing in a world of spivs and blaggers. And Jyoti, if you ever read this, you’re doing a fine job so far!

We reach Shillong about 2pm and stop at the golf course. I was dying to have a game and wanted non playing Jyoti to have a round with me. I might have even stood a chance of beating someone for a change! Or maybe not. Alas the course was closed and so a stroll had to suffice.

Better to be Mr. Late, rather than the late Mr.
Great road signs #4 and possibly the last, as I haven’t seen any others for ages


Usually my head can be all over the place. Age, ignorance or stupidity? But today it was firing on all cylinders. And once I’d checked in, I remembered that Shillong is the home of “Siat Khnam” and we were still in time to witness today’s events.

SIAT KHNAM: All around Shillong, gambling booths offer “forecast” odds on Siat Khnam. A semi circle of Khasi men fire hundreds of arrows at a drum shaped target for a set time before a canvas curtain is raised to keep further arrows off the target. Those that stick in are counted and bets predict the last two digits of this total (copyright and thanks to Lonely Planet)

We hailed a taxi and he took us to the arena. By the time we arrived, the arrows were already sailing through the air and the drum was well and truly peppered. Finally, on a countdown, the canvas was raised and the final count began. Blimey, the tension was palpable. Big chief arrow counter came to the fore. With great ceremonial flourish, he threw arrows into the ground in front of him. “One…Two…Three (the crowd hung on every number)…Four…FIVE…(folk were already on their mobile phones contacting people back in town with the result)…SIX!”. And there we had it, the result for 4pm was 56.

It was a bit of a rush but I still wanted to see Bara Bazaar. This is a huge market area dominated by the Khasi people who flock in to sell anything and everything. The women all had betel stained teeth but seemed affable enough. I was given some strange fruit to try which only grows around Shillong. It was like an elongated pale red grape. If you get chance have a look at my flickr page and there’s a picture of them. I bit into it and it was as sour as sour can be and I dislike sour immensely. The Khasi women howled when they saw my expression of distaste. I’m right chuffed I could bring a smile to them. They looked like a gang of zombies having a right good laugh. Which was nice.

Back at the hotel, it was time to order a beer to savour whilst writing this tripe. It should be simple really, considering they couldn’t keep away earlier with freebies.


“Hello, room service”
“Hello, I’d like to order a beer to be sent up to room 101”
“Hello….?”
“Hello, I’d like to order a beer to be sent up to room 101”
“Hello… you want a (sounds like splbumbleglomp)… hello…tsk…hello?”
“Hello, I’d like to order a beer to be sent up to room 101”
This is going to go on for some time I can feel it in my water……